Mid Year Review

Unfortunately, due to a management re-engineering scheme I now report directly to Gareth Snodgrass, the Grade 6 I have spoken of before.  I don’t really like him, few do, but he’s a force to be reckoned with, that’s for sure.  Gareth started his own departmental choir six months ago and christened it “The Snodgrass Singers” – I made the mistake of attending one of the rehearsals once with my friend Amanda and almost instantly regretted it.  There seemed to be a whole load of Ubertrackers there and for those not in the know, these are the crème de la crème of the civil service and usually consist of Oxbridge graduates in their early twenties with first class degrees and Grade Eight Oboe under their respective belts.  One slightly older male Ubertracker began singing a loud, albeit melodic, tenor into my left ear and as a result, I couldn’t concentrate, so I asked to be grouped with the other altos.  Unfortunately, all of the songs were in Latin, German or Spanish, so it was almost impossible to follow the music.  Oh dear!

Anyway, as ever, I digress.  My mid-year review - right.  Well, let’s just say that apparently my unique skills as an experienced Executive Officer (his words) would be fully realised by sending me out to work in the filing depot for the next six months.  There’s a huge back record conversion project taking place out there and it’s Snodgrass’s opinion that my talent and knowhow of Departmental record keeping could really prove to be a positive asset to the existing team dynamic.  I mentioned that I knew of another EO who had left the filing depot one evening at 5pm never to return.  Apparently he was sighted a fortnight later on a cross channel ferry dressed as a goat.  Nobody knew quite why that was.  They still don't.