As I was on the 6am-2pm shift today at the Central File Repository I have just returned home. I thought I'd update you on the highlights from the weekend. It was Auntie Barb's Seventieth Birthday and a party had been arranged for her in the local scout hut by her fellow members of the 'We're Well Past Thirty' club - a community group which meets every other Wednesday in, you've guessed it, the scout hut. Most of the members are over eighty, so Barb's a 'mere slip of a thing' according to Dirty Stinky Stan (a gentleman who resides in the local recycling centre.)
A party wouldn't be a celebration without Barb's honoured guests, namely her three cats, Jon Jon, Captain Beefcake and Priscilla Duckweed. She tends to take them out and about in a triple cat stroller and has been doing so since they were ejected from the De La Warr Pavilion after being smuggled in the confines of a large knapsack to view a performance of Duncan Norvelle: The Musical. Anyway, they were all dressed up suitably for the occasion in spangly outfits.
I drank and socialised for about an hour until it became too rowdy for my tastes. Mr Frobisher, Mr Hayes-Rembrant and Mr Berkeley decided to recreate the famous 'Balloon Dance' routine by stripping to just their socks, shoes and neckties. I made my excuses and left.
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