Margaret in the summer

I truly cannot believe that I've neglected my public for so darn long - well, sorry about that, I know how much you (all?) enjoy reading about my day-to-day happenings and any other things which cross my mind and find their way onto the page. Well, you'll be pleased to learn that I managed to get my back pay/a refund on my deposit from Roger Reynolds and as a result I'm back in the flat again - the shop having changed hands and now functions as one of those clothing recycling places where they buy old UK clothing to ship to eastern Europe because, even second-hand apparently our clothing's of a superior standard - have they ever heard of Primark? I'm working from home today to ensure that no Olympic congestion happens on the trasport network and after purchasing some crackers from the Co-op I tarried to have a look in the newsagent's window and spied an interesting neon-coloured card - it went something like this (I've retained the spelling mistakes): Playboy requires a woman aged 18-40 years old. Must be good looking and love good times. I only need one woman so hurry up honey! Please text me (don't call) on xxxxxxxx. Maybe I would have given it a whirl if I hadn't exceeded the age limit? Perhaps not though - I've more than enough problems with Clive and his catfish as it is...details to follow....

Margaret in Spring

Firstly, so sorry for not writing before; regular readers of this blog will be aware of the sheer flux of my personal life and won't be surprised that I haven't put fingertip to laptop before now. For those who don't know me I'll fill in the three-month gap. Well, you're aware that the criminal mastermind that was Roger Reynolds/Shaun Parker/Dennis DaSilva etc was caught by the police at Heathrow trying to leave the country with a false passport and a case containing the film rights to Transformers 6: Rise of the Public Sector Workers? Anyway, to cut a long story short he was and he still owes me the tidy sum of £498.36 in back pay. I am slowly (but surely) paying it off with pilfered stock, since February this year I have managed to net £30.89 in eBay sales (minus fees and PayPal charges...) So, I couldn't afford to rent a flat above the gravy-smelling cafe so I was forced to move back in with cousin Eleanor, newly single since her last boyfriend ran off to join a cult of tantric yoga enthusiasts in Carshalton Beeches. It's a fairly amicably arrangement, I've been granted the front bedroom and dining room to exist in, unfortunately she won't move either the dining furniture nor the gerbils out of here so I'm forced to spend my evenings sat in a hard upright chair hearing the constant paper-gnawing or squeaking of my rodent housemates. Not that I'm bitter. I have just sold two pairs of jeans on eBay to form a refund on the pay arrears that I suffered under the awful Roger. I am currently awaiting payment of the third, I hope they pay me tonight or I'll have to factor another trip to the Post Office into my week and I'm not keen on that at all, I hate the smell of other people, it upsets me.

Margaret 2012: re-booted

I think I'll start the new year as I mean to go on. Father visited from the earthworm community but luckily they turned up about half an hour ago in a large van to take him back - it's nice though, they've a huge microdrilianabriaum in the back, chock full of nutrious soil to transport him back to the west country. I truly believe the huge monthly retainer paid from the sale of the house's plot was money well spent.

Emma's coming over later on for a glass of sherry and a chat, Connor's left her again so she'll no doubt require a firm shoulder to cry on. I am glad that the cafe downstairs is closed, the cloying smell of gravy was starting to vex me. I'm back at work on Wednesday so I'd better handwash all of my tights in preparation.

My new year's resolutions are as follows:

1 Find somewhere plusher to live
2 Read at least one worthy book per week
3 Work out regularly to combat my bulging midriff
4 Find a higher rise style of jean
5 Save at least £50 per month in a high interest account
6 Fall in love with somebody normal with a steady job
7 Gain promotion to HEO
8 Re-classify my collection of tickets and programmes
9 Shave the bobbles off of all of my acrylic cardigans
10 Babysit my second cousin Sebastian at least once every six months so that Eleanor can go out and enjoy herself