Today I woke up to the sight of Wilf offering me breakfast in bed, it was a nice gesture, although he slightly overcooked the scrambled eggs in my opinion. We breakfasted in companionable chatter until 10am when Roger knocked on the door, ostensibly to 'see whether everything was tickety boo'. I invited him in and introduced him to Wilf, despite sporting a kaftan Demis Roussous would be proud of Roger's very conservative when it comes to others' dress sense and almost immediately invited Wilf down to the shop to choose another outfit.
They were gone about half an hour or so so I used the time to tidy the flat. When they returned Wilf was sporting a pair of vintage faded Levi's 501s, a paisley print shirt and suede desert boots, I must confess that he looked rather dishy, especially as Roger had mussed up his hair with a little wax. I really think Roger's the Gok Wan of suburbia, I really do!
Roger made his excuses stating that he had a particularly difficult wasp nest to remove from the loft and departed. Wilf and I then walked into town and bought a few provisions, Caesar Salad and sparkling wine being amongst them. We did witness a family being apprehended for shoplifting whilst we were in Sainsbury's, but that's to be expected these days. After a fantastic and somewhat boozy lunch Wilf led me in the bedroom and slowly but surely popped open the buttons on his 501s in a saucy but amusing manner. I think readers can guess what happens left, I'll not elaborate, this is not a Mills and Boon racy novel.
I am writing this on the laptop whilst staring at my ex having a post orgasm snore fest. A quick look through his bag found a rather strange tome - namely The Dorking Kingdersley Book of 'Getting off with One's Ex'. Right.
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