Today I returned to work after a week's sick leave following a bad cold. Unfortunately it coincided with the festive drinks do. We were all told to bring in a certain item of food which were all detailed on Simeon from Finance's Excel Spreadsheet. My French Stick was criticised because the end of it got lopped off as, due to its length, it got broken as I travelled through the ticket barriers this morning. Simeon was most displeased and told me that would mean that I was permitted 15% less food than everyone else. Huh.
Smelly Danny brought in some already opened dips and considering the rumours that I'd heard about his strange behaviour, I wasn't prepared to place a breadstick in any of the four trays - actually, few people did. The event began at noon with a game of 'pass the parcel' - the prize being a set of those rubber correspondence thimbles which are barely any use in these days of the so-called 'paperless office'. Internal Comms had run a competition for the best festive blog entry and this, written by Sarah Carstairs was the winning entry:
"I have worked in the Central File Repository since I left school aged 16 in 1993; my mum worked there and said that it was great fun and that you could eat your body weight in Digestive biscuits on Thursday afternoon. I gained employment as a paperkeeper and my so my sterling career began!!!
In December 2015 I was honoured to be awarded 'The Best Paperkeeper In The World: Ever' in respect of the longevity of my employment and the simple fact that I'd never been promoted in my twenty-two years of working here. I don't mind - Christmas means filing for me, it always has and always will. Sometimes I even wrap tinsel around my trolley!!! I once wore a flashing hat and won the award for 'best Christmas jumper' in my local pub two years ago!!!!
I sometimes think I love work so much because I'm a very lonely person at heart. Mum died in 2001 and Dad turned to drink soon after. I cannot afford to buy property in London, so still live in my parents' loft. I race pigeons on Sundays."
I spent the rest of the 'do' hiding out in the stationery cupboard, returned to my desk at 2pm and then left the office by 3pm. That's it for another year!
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