Emma visited last night and we had a girlie night in putting the world to rights. She was complaining about her boyfriend Connor who has recently formed a Dennis Waterman and Kenny tribute band and dyed his hair a strange hue of ginger as a result. Emma is (quite rightly) worried about the female adulation this will undoubtedly bring as he's been booked for a slot at the coveted 'Sauf London Wide Boy Music Festival' at this local dive called 'The Coach and Horses' where, I'm told they berate people for dancing. Emma's concerned that one of the regulars will take a shine to Connor and dress up as Rula Lenska to try and steal him away from her; she's donning an Amanda Redman style wig as I type.
Otherwise, I received a letter this morning which informed me that there's to be a memorial service for Mr A next month in his home village of Greater Parva Minor. Due to new EU regulations people are declared dead within 100 days of disappeaprance, which is a great deal less than the previous 7 years. Cuts!
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